Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
