he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
