He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
