i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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