Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
