Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
