if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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