whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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