OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
