Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
