No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
