there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize