You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
