we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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