FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize