Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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