is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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