awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
