i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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