Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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