We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
