Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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