My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
