dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
