i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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