a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
