Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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