Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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