Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
