At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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