Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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