i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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