I think my vagina is haunted
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
