i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
