i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
