and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
