I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
