apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
