Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
