piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
