Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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