why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize