He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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