So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
