Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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