So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize