question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
