After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This is the high leading the old right now
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
