If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
