im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
