i just wanna soil my oats bro
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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