as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
