Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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