Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
