Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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