i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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