Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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