I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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