Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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