it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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