Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
