so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
