i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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