she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize