If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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