he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
