i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
